When my wife and I began marriage counseling, I was not interested in it. As far as I was concerned, it was a pain in the neck, it took time out of my day no matter when we scheduled it, it was just one more unreasonable demand on my time of which I had very little, and, frankly, I didn't really care if our marriage needed it. I wasn't thinking about that.

What I also didn't know, was that I had begun to lay the groundwork for an extramarital affair. What I told myself was meaningless banter, (including the constant flow of text messages and emails, flowers and Victoria Secret lingerie I sent her) was threatening my marriage.

What I also didn't know was that my wife knew, or at least she suspected.

It was during a session with Jennifer, that the reality of what I was doing hit me, right between the eyes. Actually, I guess it was Jennifer who "explained" it to me. She didn't hit me over the head, although, maybe if she'd done that, I'd have seen it earlier. What she did ask me was if I was going to go through another marriage with my eyes closed, and once again not get what I wanted from my life, and marriage. She asked me if I knew I was "allowed" to ask for what I wanted, to negotiate with my wife, my partner, to make suggestions and compromises with my partner.

Maybe it was using the word partner that made it clear to me. I come from the world of business; I understood partner, partnership. Jennifer wondered out loud if instead of trying to fix what I already had, I was looking outside of my marriage to probably, eventually, form another partnership, with another person, and probably do the same things all over again, with a third person.

I can't find the adjectives to adequately describe Jennifer's ability and professionalism. She is astute, knowledgeable and intelligent, while also being compassionate and intuitive with an ability to somehow find the "real problems", and quickly, too.

Hopefully, there won't be, but, if there is ever another reason to seek counseling, I wouldn't hesitate to go back. CS